For our times, coinages from 'con'
by Dr. Piyush Mathur
The late Dr. Michael Smith—my eminently insightful, learned friend who retired from Virginia Tech as an English instructor—had an inherent impatience for coinages and neologisms. Don’t take me wrong: Mike was well-aware that each word starts somewhere, someway, at some point in time—and he could not have held that fact against any; proactive or intentional creation of a new word, however, was not something that quite excited him. To his mind, a language was always already a phenomenon altogether too wordy—and the human habit of producing meaningless chatter through it had not improved the scene. Ergo, no more linguistic contortions: No, sir!
Sure I dramatize a bit (as we both did while conversing with each other, almost always as a matter of irony and self-criticism); but in general also, Mike—a self-avowed nature lover—had little patience with human antics and excesses (with linguistic chatter being counted as one such thing). I used to agree with a lot that he used to say—but I also never missed an opportunity to tell him about yet another possible coinage: a word that should exist but does not. That was one of the myriad ways I used to tease him.
Today, though—with due apologies to his departed soul, and in his fond memory—I would like earnestly to coin not only just one, but a few words. And as I might have said to him, these coinages respond uniquely to a certain dimension of our contemporary global politics that has somehow been unfolding through our changing technological universe. In this dimension, the properties associated with a conman—somebody who tricks you out of something (usually money, reputation, stability) through conspicuously confident communications with you—have become widely acceptable political traits. More than just acceptable, these properties have become rather desirable and pronounced in high-level politics in this decade—even though a refusal to overtly acknowledge this situation might be a part of our evolving global culture.
That should leave life’s observers and commentators with the feeling that they are missing something. For while we all know what a conman is and does, we don’t quite have the words that would directly pick out the composite of traits and talents that are otherwise supposed to identify that character. These traits and talents should have to be detectable in anybody who exhibits them—and the strength of their presence should also have to be ‘estimatable’ (whereby allowing us also to declare transparently whether a person hitherto untested as a conman has the potential to be one—and to what degrees of success). Well, we need further words that would allow us to refer to actual characters active in mainstream politics and elsewhere who are subtly prized for their conning skills but are not called conmen presumably because their dayjob or formal profession is identified by their valid office, chair, or title.
So, we would also need these words to be defined in a manner that would allow them to capture the traits of not only the conventional, stereotypical conman, but also the conmen that have been increasingly ruling global citizenries (even via valid elections). In other words, these coinages would have to be supplemented with an appropriate range of dictionary definitions; each, in turn, to be supported by hypothetical usage samples. All in all, I would have to put together a small network of coinages derived out of the root verb con (and the original concrete noun conman); define each coinage within a range; and provide hypothetical usage examples to reflect each element of a given definitional range.
All of that is presented further below. But before we get to it, let me underline that manipulation of facts and even violent crimes have been tied to politics since its hoary inception—but that is also partly why it is long overdue for us to have a set of words reflecting the same directly. And yet there is also an urgency now—maybe an urgency not felt since the end of the Second World War owing to the dubious stability that the world has enjoyed since—to have the exact vocabulary needed to reference the increasingly closer embrace of con features by conventional politics at its greatest mass appeal. There is also a technological, virtual dimension to this urgency in the Age of the Internet—and the growth of artificial intelligence is only going to make it worse.
Coinages derived from con
conistry (alt. connistry) (n., ab.):
(1) a polity defined in terms of its ruler’s or ruling establishment’s con features
‘Modi’s India sure shared many con features with that of Trump’s United States—but these two conistries were different in some crucial ways, which I seek to highlight in my lecture,’ said the egg-headed academic in his opening remarks.
(2) a political economy or economy defined in terms of its con features
Narcotics remain a big part of Latin American conistry.
(3) con behaviours characteristic of a specific market
The capitalist connistry is not the same as the communist one; neither of the two systems is a free market anyway. On a different level, the connistry of the pharmaceutical industry, while a bit similar to that of the tobacco industry, is vastly different from that of the religion industry.
conological (adj.): of or related to conology
conology (n., ab.):
(1) a multidisciplinary field of study dedicated to the research and teaching of all aspects of conmen and conning
He is a Professor of Conology at the University of Ibadan.
(2) knowledge of themes related to cons and conning
So, there is an ex-President who openly tells lies and half truths; and there is a sitting Prime Minister who speaks like a rationalistic sage while orchestrating all sorts of nasty activities through his largely unaccountable government machinery. Each of them is considerably popular inside his own democratic conistry. The question for us, as students of conology, is which one of these two is the savvier con.
conpable (adj.):
(1) somebody who is able to con, delude, mislead people selfishly and unscrupulously
He is a highly conpable individual: He can promote Ricin as something even better than oxygen!
(2) somebody unscrupulously able to make others believe in an untruth as if it were a fact—especially a self-empowering fact
He is so conpable that he made the teenagers believe that vaping strengthens their lungs!
conpability (n., ab.):
(1) an uncanny ability to delude people for one’s own advantage—and without any scruples
‘You can’t help but marvel at Charles Ponzi’s conpability: I mean, he ensnared even Steven Spielberg.’
(2) a personality trait that allows its possessor to selfishly mislead others into thinking that an untruth is a fact—whose grasp as such is assumed or claimed to empower its believers, and even identify them as a collective
You cannot be a cult leader unless you have tons of conpability in you; and if you are successfully promoting God or religion in this day and age, then conpability, rather than innocent faith, is likely to be your driving force.
(3) the property of being conpable
‘I understand that you are persuasive. You are also systematic and logical in your approach. And you are also generally convincing when you put a point across. Well, a good professor also has all those features. Many professors are even charismatic, on top of all that. But what we want to know is this: Do you have conpability, ma’am?
conmanship (n., ab.):
(1) the skill of conning
As voters, we must understand that no two leaders have the same conmanship; the challenge is to elect the one who would seem the scariest to those whose values we don’t share inside or outside our country.
(2) a manner or style of conning
His conmanship was just so unprecedented—and shameless—that I was left with no choice but to vote for him!
conindex, or (alt.) condex (n.):
(1) an indicator, sign, or measure of one’s conpability
‘I just feel sad that on a pandemic condex, our Prime Minister should rank way up there, close to the top.’ ‘Man, you are seriously anachronistic!’
(2) a ranking of cons
Back in the day, Mr. Natwarlal would have got the top spot in any general conindex.
(3) a global annual ranking, prepared by the Global Con Index Institute (GCII), of heads of states from around the world based upon a statistical measurement of their actual and projected levels of conpability—typically assumed to be reflected in their conning records
‘Mr. President, congratulations on ranking Number One on GCII Condex 2021!’
A parting shot
As to what has led me to write the above at this point in time—and not any earlier (say during the four years of Trump, when the conpability stock touched the global roof)—are the two Indian news items from earlier this month about Pragya Singh Thakur, a member of India’s parliament. These news reports are about leaked video footages of Thakur playing basketball and dancing when she was supposed to be wheelchair-bound per her statements previously given to a court of law. While there has been a legal case against her since 2008 under India’s Unlawful Activities (Prevention) Act, Thakur successfully sought a court’s permission to absent herself from the proceedings citing her frail health—which was claimed to keep her bound to a wheelchair (in which she has been appearing publicly also for a long time).
Thakur had also previously lied to the people that her breast cancer got cured because she drank cow urine and panchgavya—when, in reality, she had had her breasts surgically removed. Earlier this year, she claimed that drinking cow urine keeps her safe from Covid-19. There are plenty of other glaring lies she has been telling the public off and on—and yet she also won the 2019 parliamentary election from Bhopal by a margin of over 300, 000 votes. So, she is a highly conpable individual—and her party leaders and followers admire her, deep down, for her conpability—something that needed to be recognized formally and directly (and which we can now evidently do).
Dr. Piyush Mathur, a philosopher, is the author of Technological Forms and Ecological Communication: A Theoretical Heuristic (Lexington Books, 2017); and of Understanding post-Covid-19 global politics: A tentative theoretical framework (TIGA Studies 3: November 2020). If you wish to contact him, just send us a message here.
References:
Firstpost (April 18, 2019) ‘Sadhvi Pragya “suffering from breast cancer”, “can't walk”: 2017 bail order in focus as BJP fields Malegaon blast-accused from Bhopal’ (Downloaded from the following URL on July 21, 2021: https://www.firstpost.com/politics/sadhvi-pragya-suffering-from-breast-cancer-cant-walk-2017-bail-order-in-focus-as-bjp-fields-malegaon-blast-accused-from-bhopal-6472921.html)
Hindustan Times (May 24, 2019) ‘BJP's Pragya Thakur wins in Bhopal by over 3 Lakh votes’ (Downloaded from the following URL on July 21, 2021: https://www.huffpost.com/archive/in/entry/pragya-singh-thakur-leading-trailing-over-digvijay-singh_in_5ce55e0fe4b09b23e65c060d)
Hindustan Times (May 18, 2021) ‘Drink cow urine to prevent Covid: BJP MP Pragya Thakur; experts reject remark’ (Downloaded from the following URL on July 21, 2021: https://www.hindustantimes.com/india-news/drink-cow-urine-to-prevent-covid-bjp-mp-pragya-thakur-experts-reject-remark-101621298599190.html)
NDTV (July 09, 2021) ‘Am Unwell, BJP's Pragya Singh Thakur Told Court; Now She's Filmed Dancing’ (Downloaded from the following URL on July 19, 2021: https://www.ndtv.com/india-news/video-after-basketball-clip-bjps-pragya-thakurs-dance-video-draws-congress-dig-2482694?pfrom=home-ndtv_topscroll )
Tribune (July 02, 2021) ‘'Video shows otherwise wheelchair-bound Pragya Thakur playing basketball; leaves Cong surprised' (Downloaded from the following URL on July 19, 2021: https://www.tribuneindia.com/news/nation/video-shows-otherwise-wheelchair-bound-pragya-thakur-playing-basketball-leaves-cong-surprised-277234 )